WHERE'S MY CHICKEN??

THIS TRUE STORY IS A LITTLE LENGTHY.......BUT THE ENTERTAINMENT VALUE IS PRICELESS. AND SO IT BEGINS:

Last evening around 5:30 I was preparing my chicken for our dinner. I was cutting up 3 cooked chicken breasts in order to put them into the chicken enchiladas. I knew that it was almost time to pick up Baylee from soccer practice but I kept plugging along hurriedly so that I could be just one step closer to getting dinner in the oven. I started to get a little ancy knowing that soccer practice was probably already over. When the phone rang beside me, I just knew that it was going to be the soccer coach wondering where I was. Sure enough! I was right. I replied, "I know I know I'm sorry, I'm leaving right now!" There was 1 chicken breast left to cut up and I left it until I got back. Practice was just at big brothers school so it wouldn't take me long. I knew I'd be back in a flash. Upon leaving I hollered to little sis, "Come on, we need to go get Baylee". As she ran on the rocks to the side of the house she fell and skinned both knees. I quickly consoled her, threw her in the van and as I began to back out of the driveway, Alex jumped in to come with. He had been outside tracking down a little neighborhood doorbell ditcher.

When we arrived back home I went straight to the kitchen to finish dinner preparation. THE CHICKEN WAS GONE! "What the $@## ?" I said. "What happened to the chicken?!" I was stumped and a little annoyed I must say. I scratched my head in confusion while I crinkled my eye brows. My body language spoke........"How weird is THIS!" Hmmmmm, "Big brother must have come home and left again while we were gone. The chicken looked so irresistable and he took the whole darn piece on his way back out the door to go finish selling the Dixie Direct booklets" I thought. So, I got dinner in the oven and no sooner had I set the timer and in walks Kyle with one of his buddies. I confronted him about the missing chicken breast. "Mom I swear, this is the first time I've been home!" He said. "Are you sure my son?" I asked. "Mom, I swear I did NOT take your chicken!"

Anyway, this became the talk of the evening. Even daddy was stumped as we told him. Later loooooong after bedtime. When I was up all by my lonesome, I decided to give my toilet an overdue scrub down. I noticed that my makeup case was missing out of my bathroom. I looked high and low. In the drawers, under the sinks, even in my closet thinking that Toot may have moved it to a secure place while her curiosity got the best of her. I even looked in the girls room. And the boys. And the laundry room. NOTHING! NO LUCK! IT WAS MISSING! GONE! I scratched my head in confusion while I crinkled my eye brows. My body language spoke........"How weird is THIS!"

Finally, at 2:00 am I decided to call it a night. I was ready for some much needed sleep. I nudged daddy on my way to brush my teeth. "Time to get up honey, come on!" He got up and did his ritual as I did mine. I told him about the head scratching mystery as he laced up his boots. "Not only is my chicken missing honey, but my makeup too!!" I went into the bathroom while he went to the kitchen to gather the yummy lunch that I had prepared for him. After I turned off the water in the bathroom sink, the doorbell rang rapidly ....Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding....This caught me by surprise.

I went to the door quickly. Opened it. NO ONE! I looked around, said hello and then closed the door. "Didn't the doorbell just ring?" I asked. "Yep" he said. "Did you ring it?" "Nope, I was standing here the whole time." Hmmmm, well I was a little freaked out by that time. I mentioned once again, the strangeness of the missing chicken and my makeup bag. "Should I call the police honey?" I asked. "Yeah, I would. Just to have them scope out the neighborhood if nothing else. You never know!" He said. So off he went. "Lock the door behind me honey." He said. "Dont' worry, I will!!"

So here we go again......dad's workin the road while mom stays behind to clean up the mess. LOL Do we see why I've become so independent in me old age?

Meanwhile, I call the police and explain what happened. Agreeing with me, the dispatcher would send a couple police cars over to scope the neighborhood. I'm not usually one to call the police with every tiny thing. Which by the way, seems to be a popular choice among some of our lovely neighbors. Oh freak! Am I becoming one of them? Aaaaaaah!

So the police arrive, one officer comes to the door, while another drives around. I continue to explain the story and make mention of the early incident with the runaway chicken who took my makeup with him! I couldn't help but notice that the officer had a little smile on his face and I just knew that he was trying not to crack up as I shared the story. LOL I started to chuckle and said, "I know it sounds retarded but IT REALLY DID HAPPEN." I dont' know if it was a youngster at 2:20 freakin a.m. but it does pose the question..........."It's 2 a.m; do you know where your children are??!!" I DO!! Assuring me that they'd continue to drive around, they insisted I call if anything suspicious happened again. I thanked them and locked the door behind me. By this time Baylee awoke and heard the commotion. As I stood in her room near the window and watched the 2 officers visit with each other from their cars I explained what was happening. I had a brilliant idea! "Oh golly this would make an awesome blog entry! I gotta get the camera and take a picture of these cops for PROOF of the insanity around here!" I got the camera ready. Lifted up one of the slats in the blinds. Aimed. Zoomed. Held it steady. And snapped! The flash went off like a firework on the 4th of July! The policemen turned their heads quickly toward the window in surprise as if expecting to see a crime scene! OH CRAP....What have I done? OH NO....THEY GONNA COME GET ME! I quickly dropped the blind slat as my heart raced. Nervously I sat on the girls bed, and I just knew that they'd come for me. Wheew! They didn't! Baylee was scared. Dang, a good excuse to end up in mom's bed! As if eeeeevery other freakin night didn't have an excuse.

I debated if I should strip down to my undies and get in bed or just leave my clothes on in case I had to chase down a chicken thief holding a bag of makeup for hostage!

Too tired to function with full capacity, I climbed in my nice big bed fully clothed. If I gotta run someone down in the middle of the night I'm gonna be a prepared little girl scout. This did make my getting up this morning go off without a hitch since all I had to do was jump out of bed and be on my way.

When I woke the boys up for school, I filled them in on all the excitement. Our suspicions leaned towards "Shania" the girl who doorbell ditched us yesterday before we retrieved Baylee from soccer practice. Knowing that "Cierra" accompanied her with the doorbell ditch, I figured that I'd call her first to see if she had aaaany knowledge of a chicken and makeup heist yesterday. (she's more trustworthy) Desperately needing my makeup soon, I decided to call as I knew that my friend Suzy (Cierra's mom) would be up like I was, getting her 2 girls ready for school. I call and leave a message. Suzy calls me back and I proceed to tell her of yesterday's events. We laughed our butts off as we joked about the runaway chicken carrying my makeup. (you would have had to have been there) I needed a good laugh so it was much helpful. And so early in the morning too. What a great way to start the day.

So, while I was getting my dose of laughter on the phone , I decided to walk out into the backyard. I first spotted the step stool. I walked toward it. My eyes scanned the yard and something black caught my attention. C...C...C...COULD IT BE??? MY MAKEUP??? IT WAS! IT WAS MY MAKEUP! "Oh Suze..you are NOT gonna believe this!" I said. After we cracked up some more and she expressed her great relief, we got off the phone to continue our morning rituals. The day has proceeded as normal as it can be today. I'm much relieved to have my makeup back. Wheew! But, the mystery at hand continues to pose the question.....

WHERE'S MY CHICKEN??